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  1. Pet Lovers, Enjoy

    #1

    Silent Knight's Avatar
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    Pet Lovers, Enjoy

    To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.

    Dear Dogs and Cats,

    The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your
    food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note,
    placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a
    claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that
    aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

    The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a
    racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me
    doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

    I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am
    very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the
    couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a
    ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each
    other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that
    sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end
    to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

    For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the
    bathroom.. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door
    shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or
    get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit
    through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom
    for years -- canine or feline attendance is not required.

    The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog
    or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!

    To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following
    message on our front door:

    To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit &Like to Complain About
    Our Pets:
    1. They live here. You don't.
    2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay
    off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
    3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
    4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted
    son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.

    Remember: In many ways, dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
    1. Eat less
    2. Don't ask for money all the time
    3 Are easier to train
    4. Normally come when called
    5. Never ask to drive the car
    6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
    7. Don't smoke or drink
    8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
    9. Don't want to wear your clothes
    10. Don't need a "gazillion" dollars for college.

    And finally,

    11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children








  2. Re: Pet Lovers, Enjoy

    #2
    CoD Member


    Join Date
    Dec 2007
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    rofl i just love this

  3. Re: Pet Lovers, Enjoy

    #3

    Americas Army Officer
    General of the Interior
    LadyL.R.B's Avatar
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    lol nice


  4. Re: Pet Lovers, Enjoy

    #4
    Americas Army Officer

    Gorilla's Avatar
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    lol ain't it the truth?



  5. Re: Pet Lovers, Enjoy

    #5
    Call of Duty Officer

    Tompie913's Avatar
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    Pittsburgh, PA
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    1,082
    I hate animals. I couldn't say it better than Stephen Colbert, "Animals are godless killing machines." And what's up with talking to animals? If you find a dog that speaks English (or any language), give it to me though. I do agree that pets are better than children though. Then again, I'm a cold-hearted miser who hates the world.

  6. Re: Pet Lovers, Enjoy

    #6
    Guild Wars Member

    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    Midland Tx
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    290
    lol nice

  7. Re: Pet Lovers, Enjoy

    #7
    Registered User LukeRileyB's Avatar
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    Mar 2007
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    Nice SK

  8. Re: Pet Lovers, Enjoy

    #8
    AA War Dept


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    I like #11 lol

  9. Re: Pet Lovers, Enjoy

    #9
    Registered User
    Join Date
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    ahahahahaha

  10. Re: Pet Lovers, Enjoy

    #10
    Americas Army Officer
    General of the Exterior
    Dirt-Dog's Avatar
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    Harligen, Texas
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    Thumbs down

    Good stuff SK..........

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